If you don’t know what ‘The Kenya Adventures are the click here, but if you do then lets carry on… (hint: this is where it gets good)
Before traveling to Kenya me and Callie (the only other student apart from me going on the trip) were really nervous We’d only just paid everything off on time, Mrs Gobshit (can you tell I’ve changed the names of people in this blog) was the teacher that would be accompanying us and Jesus Christ was she unbearable. Her screams of “PICK UP THAT LITTER” and “DO YOU WANT A DETENTION YOUNG MAN, I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR EXISTENCE IN MY LIFE ” can be heard half way down the corridor and she is always talking about how busy she is and how she doesn’t even have time to breath, she has to get other people to do it for her. Not to mention how she has to control everything.
A little while before we were due to leave she called us in to her office to see if we had packed everything on the kit list for the trip (yet another expense we never thought we’d raise enough money for). Me and Callie trudged to school with our heavy rucksacks that we were supposed to take everywhere with us while we were there (you can’t go on an Expedition type adventure and take a suitcase that’s just uncool) and filed in to her
cupboard Office (also known as the waiting room to hell) where she proceeded to tell us to take every item of our things out of our rucksacks, and on to her floor; shirts, trousers, shorts, torches, first aid kits, Malerone tablets, passports, visas, underwear.- Yes. That’s right. We had to spread out our underwear on her floor, bras and knickers for the whole school to see while they got to rush past on their way home while getting an eye full our delicates I never thought I’d say this but a whole bunch of year 8 boys now know what colour underwear I have, and I will never forgive Gobshit for that kind of obscene humiliation.
You’d think that after she’d seen that we had sufficient underwear to last us a month and weren’t dirty savages she’d let us put them back but no. We had them out for a good half hour, while teachers and students would randomly pop in because they needed her (in all fairness the lady is actually really busy all of the time).
As if that wasn’t enough humiliation for one day, she then proceeded to scream at me whenever I had an item missing from the list. I DIDN’T KNOW HAVING A HEAD TORCH WAS THAT IMPORTANT, YOU WERE THE ONE THAT TOLD ME NOT EVERY SINGLE ITEM ON THE LIST WAS IMPORTANT. Apparently the camps were mostly outdoors and didn’t have lights, however if someone had mentioned that to me, I’d have realised why we needed the head torches. She then proceeded to howl on about how one set of night wear was enough for a month (and she thought we were the savages)
After an hour of abuse me and Callie had been given a list of items that were imperative for us to have and stuff that we didn’t have to care about. Except for the fact that we’d already started buying things and half the things Gobshit has rendered useless we’d already bought.
But the Important part was that we were free from the bitches clutches, at least for a little while
How we were going to spend the entire month living with her, I had no idea